When I was 12

I got the message

I was a lonely kid.

I liked my dog and my mom and didn’t like the kids in the neighborhood or my dad. I hated obligatory birthday parties and loud noises and I liked to sit by Florida creeks and swampy waterways looking for alligators and feeding ducks.

I had siblings who were decades older than me and I grew up alone with older parents who were mostly checked out drinking or going to Al-Anon meetings about the drinking one.

I was melancholy but loved a wicked sense of humor. Two older brothers I saw infrequently made me laugh and I loved it when they came by to visit. One told me one time never to stoop to anyone else’s level. Raise people up to you he said. 40+ years later I know that’s not my job (after thinking it was in a series of failed Frankenstein style relationships).

I think a translation for today would be Have Them Meet You Where You Are. Or where you want to be. Because I’ve spent a lifetime in the food business, my analogy:

If you want to eat Thai food and your friends are always at the Taco Barn, have them meet you at the Thai place or find friends who already ordered Gaeng Daeng twice this week. Don’t shame your other friends for being basic day drinkers who are just there for the queso and margs, that’s their path. (been there).

I’ve been so focused on how I don’t fit here (the only American and the only dog rescuer and one of very few people with multiple dogs) I apologize for not fitting the mold. Sorry I don’t understand your (incorrect, often misspelled) slang dialecto Spanish and speak the Spanish of textbooks. Sorry I have dogs, sorry we only had one spay clinic in my living room for free last month, sorry I bought all the liver—-oh STOP. First of all, no one gives two shits. Second, why am I apologizing for saving abandoned, starved and abused animals? They should hold a parade for me and at minimum leave me alone and maybe donate a few pesos to the StreetFeed.

But I can’t change these people. Or any people.

And although I’m evolving, I’m not going to change either. It’s still lonely from time to time but I know better. Yea, I wish I could find my tribe of weirdos but I’ll not pretend I like you when I don’t. I’ll not pretend I’m not red pilled since high school and I’ll not try to convince you of anything. Party on, drink your tap water. It’s just water vapor they’re spraying up there, not chem trails and the government is here to help you. You’ll be fine.

So just a reminder not to compromise. You’ll never be lonelier than you are in a crowd full of the wrong people.