Trying to understand

even when you can't

I’m sure it’s my ego that allows me to push through a lot of things in life. Impulsivity, risk taking who knows. I’m genuinely curious about how things work and the human condition and have been since I was a kid but I’ll admit I get VERY disappointed when people don’t react the way I want. Or expected. It’s like having to take an exit ramp on the highway because you’re riding with someone who has to pee all the time. It’s a stick in my spokes. I thought I’d save these dogs and they’d get housebroken, vaxxed, vetted, trained, and cute and I’d adopt out. Nope. We’re all just sitting her in the living room. I’ve adopted 5 thus far. 2 ran away. 1 came back.

A dog rescue seemed so necessary and so blatantly obvious I figured at minimum people in this Mexican pueblo would be glad dogs were off the street. Not all but a good chunk. The ones that chased your bike were now well fed and behind a gate. The ones who dumped your trash looking for food were also not making the rounds. Hundreds of unwanted puppies were not birthed because I had many dogs spayed and neutered. Yay! No more dead dogs with mange on the road. Thank heavens for the Gringa! (they hate me)

It literally makes me sick to my stomach to see animals suffer and so there really was no choice. There’s no vet here and no pet supply stores or anything else but I’ve got tweezers and a flea comb and brushes and antibiotics and hands to pull thorns and ticks…and bowls to give water and can find some food for starving critters. How hard is it? As the numbers grew to nearly 20 or more in my care and with a sometime mobile vet the financial burden was a little heavy and I had to ask for outside help, get donations, start a Patreon, sell tshirts. It’s just enough each month but it’s tight. The dogs are doing well, I may be fading a bit I feel. I don’t really relate to the people here and of course I could blame the language barrier but that’s not really the case. I don’t like chit chat and don’t want to talk about fingernails, makeup, boyfriends, babies, church in any language. So it’s conversation with a couple shopkeeps and honestly I’d be the same in the US. Maybe a little deeper conversation but I’m pretty used to solo life. And I’m very quiet. Mexicans will sit in a room with a audio speaker to 11 and 6 kids screaming AND a TV and sit right on top of it. I can count on one hand how many days I’ve NOT worn earplugs here. I hate noise. Culturally, it’s not the best fit for me, we used to get along quite well and I found the people friendly and helpful. The longer I’m here I feel they are opportunists, scammers who aren’t very clever and animal abusers. But churchgoers of course. I’m confused most days.

But I clean the streets, I decorate my front door, I sweep the sidewalks, I put fresh water bowls out for dogs and birds, I clean poo 3 times a day, I give vaccines and dewormers and tick meds to dogs who aren’t even part of my rescue. I give bones to the feral ones. I’m quiet and a good customer at the grocery store. I figure I’m a good neighbor but it turns out everyone hates me. Who knew? They hate dogs. Likely Americans too. If they didn’t hate dogs they wouldn’t have left them all over the streets starving and riddled with parasites. I don’t know why that took me so long to figure out. I’m not needed in FRance. I think I had been brainwashed that they were poor…and they are sorta but they have smart phones and Dish TV and the beer store is VERY well traveled. The fingernail store is busy as well. So It’s possible to feed a dog. Or brush it or not run it over with your car. But they literally treat them like a rat infestation. I really want to understand the mind that feels like that, so it will make my rescue work easier, but I cannot.

This past weekend the hotel manager (a rotund and bitter woman who is the daughter of the owner) came out and flipped her wig about dogs. Kicked a chihuahua across the road, likely broke his rib, said she’s calling someone to poison them all and because I was in ear shot gave me a bunch of grief about all the problems I caused with my stupid project. Wait, what? I thought I was helping. I can’t spay and clear ALL the dogs off the streets, but Im doing the best I can. No parade for me? She said that her guests couldn’t even go to the cafe down the road because they were afraid of the dogs as one had chased a guy. Not even MY dog but no one cares about details. I like dogs so dog issues are my fault. I just rolled my eyes and walked away. I saw the guy and know the dog so went to help him…and grab the dog. A not scary dog. But the guy was an idiot and flailed about like he happened on a tiger in the middle of a subway car. Lost a croc shoe and pulled his headphones off to throw it at the dog…I’m surprised how many people are MORBIDLY afraid of dogs…99% of Mexico and quite a few American contract workers too. And also, maybe walk around the block then? I’m not diminishing his fear, he likely has had problems with dogs before.

I know there’s a few houses here that have charging unpredictable dogs that I avoid. Every single road has dozens of stray dogs but mostly they ignore me and I them or we visit and that’s that. I’ve been charged though, so I get it. But I don’t hurt dogs. They know that. If you’ve got karma with dogs, take a different road. But the hotel manager was saying that it’s all my fault and all the whatevers chingasu madre “grosseros” that she could spit. Everyone says she’s a horrible woman with a black heart and everyone is afraid of her and I laugh because in a real world someone would have put her in a trunk already. They have power in this one horse town and they’re some sort of mafia. I could care less. She kicks dogs, and promises to throw poison over the fence. To me that’s criminal but even criminals have their reasons. I think she’s full of it. But I can’t see how I’m hurting anyone keeping and caring for these dogs in a foster home?

I do understand that if you have hotel clients who need to walk to the only restaurant in town, you’d like them to do so without getting bitten by a dog. Makes sense. 99% of the time all of these dogs are inside. Maybe tell your guests to cross the street or be aware? It only takes one slip by one big dog (Dusty who has a friend ready with steak bones at the carne asada cart around the block)when I come in with groceries to have a dog running around. He’s big and playful but barks when he sees anyone or anything and people throw their hands up and scream and run and dance and do all the wrong things. Stomp your foot and say NO! and put your hands out if being charged. I’d say 95% of the street dogs out there will NOT charge you. They are weak, hope you have food and are scared. So talk nice to them. Hey, buddy! And they’ll wag their tails and lay back down. If you have a sandwich or left overs give them some. You may see them again. Remember that. They’ll NEVER forget you either way. But also there are about 20 dogs outside on the street here where I am all the time. Most are passing by or looking for a female but there are more abandoned dogs here than anywhere I’ve been in Mexico.

So while I’m wondering what trauma the hotel woman had I think of her mother who is twice the evil cow that she is and there we are. They want all dogs off the street but not in shelter…DEAD. She has literally run a few over. On purpose. For context she looks like Cruella du Ville. I suggested the hotel call Animal Control (there isn’t one), but it’s not my job. And I don’t work for them. Nor do I answer to them. I have 14 off the street. Where’s my trophy?

That’s the ego part I guess. I figure people would be happy to have me in town. It’s not always the case. I was an outsider in rural GA too because I as city folk from Atlanta but when I lived in NYC I was a hick because I came from Atlanta. I’ve never really understood all of that but now I’m too old to give a horse’s ass. I just want to be left alone. And I want people to stop abusing animals. But I’m alone in that. They talk a good game but no one wants to do anything proactive to remedy the situation. I guess that’s everywhere.

I cannot win here for many reasons. Having dogs in a shelter is bad. Poo in yard surely smells (even tho I clean it 3x a day and put it immediately into closed compost bags. I’m a very sensitive nose. Also I hate flies. Mexico has smells and flies. I’m not living with them on my property. And I leave water and food out and it attracts more dogs! Water is necessary for life. Food I give to specific dogs but don’t “leave” food…I don’t want ants and roaches either. Try again. Barking. Security. And that’s everywhere. And it’s not nearly as loud as all the music all over town til all hours of the morning.

So no dogs out, no dogs in. Got it. No services in town, no one can or will speak to a political person because they know they’ll do nothing. I’m pretty unclear why Mexico has ANY government workers but it’s likely to give some people jobs but they do less than nothing. I’ve talked to Animal Control in a town 2 hours away and they said they’d pick up the dogs for their adoption center. Then they said no. Then they said maybe. Then no. Now they don’t answer. Can I even post pics on your FB? or direct them to my page where they can see the dogs? Silence.

There’s no zoning, or tax collection, or animal services or road services, you can’t drink the water, there’s no DOT or infrastructure. Police? Please. On a federal level maybe but in these little areas which is most of the nation, it’s just on your own. But they are so desensitized to murder and corruption and cartel violence and missing persons…if a mom is looking for her missing son and she gets too close to evidence they’ll cut her head off in a heartbeat and there will be no investigation. It’s a rough place and this hole I’ve stumbled into is even worse.

I think it’s not really me or the dogs it’s just the town is so small and closed that no one is allowed to bitch about their actual neighbor and everyone is related. And fearful. And paranoid of outsiders. So I’m the whipping post and I must go. They don’t want me cleaning up the streets and rehabbing dogs, that just extends the dog’s life and my clean street makes their broken bottle piles and diapers all over look worse.

I’m not sure where I’ll go or how I’ll get there, but I’m gonna need a van unless these dogs can pull a sled in the desert. Anyone wintering in AZ in the winter?