P.A.S.S
Post Adoption Sadness Syndrome. Is it a thing with rescue dog workers?
From 9/2022
Post Adoption Sadness Syndrome.Is it a thing? It should be. There's a similar thread to all dog rescue workers. I don't know any in my town of course but I'd bet with some digging, all of us (overwhelmingly women) would have some childhood trauma, some loyalty issues, some deep somatic sadness that needs to be released. But we usually/should trust our guts
Animals are mirrors. Famously horses are Whisperers but dogs, so obviously, tear at our collective hearts. Abandoned dogs and street dogs in Mexico have always fascinated me. Mostly happy, especially the beach dogs. People say they're afraid of feral dogs but I've never seen a true feral dog be aggressive. Fearful yes. To be aggressive to other humans you have to have human experience and abuse. Or rabies.
If you're just walking down the road and minding your own business, a dog coming at you with mal intent is rare. Anyone who's been bitten in the face by a dog has been kissing it, in my experience. Or little kids poking it in the eyeball. You have to be very low and very close to have that happen. I do not kiss my dogs. Or stick my face in their face. I pull sticks out of their throats and look for broken teeth when their breath stinks but I don't humanize them. The dogs at this rescue are not MY dogs. They are the Sanctuary Dogs and ready to be adopted into a family so why do I get so worried and sad when someone finally adopts one or two?
Because these people couldn’t keep a plant alive and I know it. A couple dogs have returned to the gate after being adopted and abandoned again. Once was just a visitor because they lied and said they had a fenced area (Debbie) and the other was because they moved out and said they'd be back and left Niles sitting at their trailer for weeks. He’d come back to the shelter and get food and play but then wait for those goons. Never came back. Niles came back to the sanctuary. Debbie got run over.
So I have not great faith in this town's people.
But if I keep that mindset I'll never attract the one or two in town who will love a dog and keep them safe. When they don't even want to know their names or care about their vax papers or the tick preventative schedule, I want to tell them NOPE, you’re a shitty potential parent. But now I just wait until someone wants to adopt from the US. Which is difficult because we’re remote and it’s a rough and dangerous drive, but not totally impossible.
I've felt lately that I'm in this negative timeline loop. Feeling stuck, trying a lot of things that just don't move fluidly forward letting me know it's just not the right fit (always) is because I haven't learned a lesson and to ensure nothing loops back around. I never feel at home, so with homeless dogs as my teachers---I never am.
I want them to find good homes but what "good" means to me and someone else or even the dogs...is very different. Dusty for example despite having a nice warm bed and good foods all day long and bones and care and combing and walks -is suicidal if he can't be with the carne asada guy but he has told me one hundred times, that he cannot have Dusty. His wife has another dog inside the house, maybe that’s it, but I don’t push it
We all have our happy place. Dusty likes to lay on the pavement, get a bone, pick a fight and get a rock thrown at him from a passing drunk at the connecting beer store. It makes him feel alive I’m sure.
I had a tryst with a Guatemalan indigenous guy once (or twice) way back when, and he used to sleep one or two nights on the wood floor instead of the bed so he didn't get too "comfortable". Nunca sabes he'd say. (You never know) I used to take it personally until I saw what they call a "mattress" in Latin America.
Who am I to think that those two desert dogs found under a cactus on the highway can't survive with an older couple who want to adopt…people who work at the local grocer, hold down a fishing job, have kids, ties to the community, know how to drive a boat, have grandkids---that they won't take care of those two scrappy dogs? If they feed them they'll be happy as clams, the bar is low with Niles and Frasier. Right?
I'm not the General Manager of the Universe. I retired from that. I've done my best and have to let it go and Trust.
PUPDATE: **
Frasier ran away IMMEDIATELY and came home here from the “responsible” people. Niles showed up with a rope around his neck 2 days later. The guy came to find him but the wife didn’t want. The next time Niles showed up, I kept him again. He’s such a great dog! It’s frustrating.
PUPDATE ***TWO
Niles and Frasier were taken in by a rescue group in Tucson called Paws without Borders and Frasier was adopted immediately and is living in Scottsdale which tracks for him because he’s super fancy. Niles took a little longer but eventually went to a family with kids in Tucson. It was a pretty good process but the Tucson group is no longer working cross border dogs and won’t take any more from Mexico. I was a nervous wreck but after getting them to Nogales it was pretty smooth. I’d try another group again. Maybe. I would prefer to know who is adopting the dogs though. Assistant to the General Manager of the Universe perhaps.
For more info or to inquire about any of our fine canines go to linktr.ee/lolasdogrescue our Instagram is very current and has lots of stories about the dogs