12 personalities of anything is a lot. Unscripted, it's choreographed confusion. But everyone has settled into their role, pecking order, asexually humping each other into submission and play. Dogs from the street who have nothing more in common than having shelter here with me.
The orphan puppies outgrow their baby personalities or become worse magnified versions of their tiny cute selves. The meek and broken skeleton dog may be a bit more than you can handle in his healthy version. Pedro, for example, everyone's favorite Ol Yeller does exactly what he wants when he wants. He's an older fellow. Maybe 8? Hard to say. He's had many lives. Learned from none of them. Still gets too close to that bull that runs down the street, still chases cars, still tries to steal food if you're not looking even though he's been fed 2 squares a day for almost a year and by many passerby, given snacks and leftovers. He's stronger than he looks, will push you over on a greeting, scratch your shopping bag until goods fall out on the road. Twirl and nip your fingers to express joy in seeing you (and to hit you up for food) and he weighs about 100 lbs more than you'd expect him to. He's old dog mischievous, not destructive, dangerous or "bad"...but he's his own guy. They all are really.
Rocky left for a few hours today with his mom Andie and drunky Cecilio (Andie's actual human dad) to pick through trash and drink beer apparently. He came back with blue frosting all over his head and likely was at some little kid birthday party. I'll know in a day or so when I find poop in the yard with twisted plastic bags, fish bones and blue dye.
River took Fat Suzy down in a scary wrestling hold with lots of hyena screams. Suzy looked at her bone next to her favorite shell and that's enough to trigger. An attack ensued. River is lithe and lightning fast but doesn't bite. It's just a big psy op. Tons of noise, out of nowhere Ninja, Suzy pees herself while all fours in the air. It's embarrassing but she likely asked for it. She's the youngest and everyone feels sorry for her, because she's so food driven she can't think of nothing rational. A Labrador abandoned in a stack of tires for a long while. Easy to traumatize. River knows this. She'll come and sit by her and squint her eyes. Creepy, light amber death stares like only a border collie, or a rattlesnake, can give. She'll sit behind her quietly and the energy is so unnerving, Suzy gets up and runs away on her own accord. River whispers, 'yea, I thought so...' She'd definitely get cast in the role of serial killer in a slasher film. But you'd find out in the end, it wasn't her. It was Brindle. The sneaky, camo coated, quiet, slinky hunting dog of unknown provenance. Chewing quietly on a femur bone in the corner, you'll never see it coming.
Everyone is terrified of Dusty but he's likely the most sensitive of all. He does bark a lot of different alarm barks to let me know who's at the gate. And I've seen him charge a crack head or two but he never connects with teeth. He does go for the crotch which is interesting. He's missing a lot of teeth though and I wonder what he ate for his formative years. He gets the bouncer job a lot but isn't really effective.
The scariest and most aggressive dog on the lot is the American, of course. Old fat Brady. At 13, she bites all the dogs here, chases them, corrals them, hates them. Not interested in people but she's started to steal stuff out of the fridge and nip at me when I cut her dinosaur toenails. A fat Don Corleone who leans back on her belly and looks over the minions. Don't touch me while I'm sleeping, or I'll cut ya.
Mattie the Blue Heeler has a melting cornea that looks like an opal. He's an old black man who runs the elevator in historic west side building. He's been there since 1934. Always in a tuxedo, he doesn't say much, but he fancies Miss River for her Crazy. He sees everything in another dimension and she's exciting and unpredictable. He never misses a walk and stays behind my right hand and hits it occasionally to check in. Loyal and always there but not really. A Tonto to Dusty's false Lone Ranger, he's the one really paying attention.
Frasier and Niles always will be the brothers who get wedgies and hung inside a locker every single day. And every single day they come back to hang around, get under foot, bug the cool kids, have food hanging out of their braces and fart. They play tuba and clarinet poorly in the band and there's a waiting list to beat them up after school. Everyone needs a scapegoat and there they are.
The real villain is Cookie. She's a slick, soft, muscular for no reason, mini pittie and clearly a diamond thief. I'm on to her.
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