And no chicos guapos!

a laugh at the meat counter

The summer wheezes on after 3 days of lighter temps. That was just to keep all of us from jumping off a bridge we don’t even have into the Sea of Cortez.

The ladies (they’re all ladies) who work at the tiendas say always, We NEVER see YOU. I thought you moved! And I laugh and say I wish except now it’s not funny. Seriously, where can I go? It seems that a good portion of Mexico is in full on cartel war, daytime shootouts, lock downs, don’t leave at night, cars on fire, blockades, dead bodies strewn all over war. And the rest is getting hit with hurricanes or just a ‘rainy season’ that precedes the ‘high season’ and the rest of the areas I just don’t know about. A place that looks nice in the mountains could be a high mountain lookout crossing point…and let’s face it, the dangers are all over but do I want to be out in the pastoral rolling hills and have someone in the driveway? Cuz, no. The Rancho sometimes holds little appeal unless it’s in the center of a town somewhere.

Cookie, the Velvet Pickle, hanging out on the chair that is off limits to dogs.

We are in between 2 fairly dangerous areas but three hours and a rough highway makes it inconvenient for everything. Even the narco traffickers. The locals here always say the same thing because they can’t say anything good about the place except, well, it’s TRANQUILO. And true, that. It’s quiet and peaceful ish. The low level thugs who roll through here aren’t roughing people up though I have seen some “floor tax” collectors stop by a few establishments a time or two. A less formal sales tax audit, let’s say. You’re doing business here, so I’m here to take a piece of it. So like, exactly like US taxes.

I still have one working AC unit and one half witted mini split and for 45 days I’ve been asking my landlord to fix it and he says, “I’ll tell Hector.” who is the ONLY SERVICE TECH IN TOWN (and his brother in law) Even with 1200-3000 residents where half have AC, we’re in the Sonoran desert in Mexico. It’s not a maybe call. But it’s also not an emergency either because one is working. My goal one day is to be as unbothered as my landlord about most things. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t care about anything but dogs either, but I worry about it all the time. In fact right now I’m worrying that I don’t care about anything.

I’ve tried to hire others and I fixed some drippy interior water myself with a neighbor and I moved my desk into the bedroom where the unit works but hey, that’s what’s up with cheap rent in a small town south of the border. It sucks but part of me KNOWS that I could be having the same drama at $1500 in Tucson. So I tinker with it myself because my landlord says, “Well yea Hector is really busy now, I’m sure in November he’ll come by and service it he’ll have more time.” Well, yea? Maybe I’ll make him a pumpkin pie since it’s a social call and not 100 degrees out there. He’ll be less busy in November.

I’ve often thought about a future as a service tech maven running a crew of guys. Know it all good old stallions and a battalion of journeymen fresh from trade school. A grant from Mike Rowe and some cool merch and good trucks. I’d head dispatch. Reliving my glory days as a receptionist at temp agencies in Tampa in 1989. I want landlines with 8 different lines going out. Press *8 to get a dial tone. I’d call it Mexico Listo! or something. Likely a copyright infringement.

We’d show up on time and I’d pay the staff well and we’d always have healthy snacks in a big break room and Fridays would be pizza and beer night and bonuses would go out 2x a year. There’d be a doggy day care on site with outdoor yards and even a day care for kids that way no one hates overtime quite as much. Service in Mexico is optional and novel at best and mostly you only see it where Canadians and US Gringos hang out in the winter, but in regular towns? Suck it.

I dunno as the Mexican middle class grows, it may be a good idea. Lots of foreign investment coming here and the new Nearshoring trend is in full swing in a country with a lot of shoreline and natural resources. Cutting out the Panama Canal and the new port and crossing in Salina Cruz, Oaxaca will bring even more houses and jobs. And likely gringos who enjoy the vibe and not paying $3000/mo to live in a parking lot.

This pueblo needs so much it doesn’t even register to me and most of the people don’t have money so it’s not an entrepreneur’s hole in one, but a lot of places in Mexico, if you don’t get decapitated, are booming. My days are long and repetitive but it’s hot so I’m unmotivated but like a hibernating bear I am. Ready for salmon season. Under my one mini split I dream of getting me and all of these dogs out of here.

The lady at the meat counter said to me, I don’t know why you’d stay here, it’s got such extreme weather and there is are no chicos guapos! I laughed because I was flattered that they thought I’d even care that there are no cute boys in this town and that’s why I don’t leave the house? I don’t leave because it’s 100 degrees every single day and dusty and the food sucks and I’m menopausal and there’s no place to go so why am I out walking around in the hot sand? Looking for love?

I’d like a place that sold oatmeal cookies or pizza by the slice or hummus wraps. Chicos Guapos unless they’ve got HVAC training, I’ve no use for.

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