Because I’m looking for acreage and a little farmette property that I can take myself and the dogs to and start a proper sanctuary, I look at a lot of small towns. Most I’ve never heard of in states I’ve never been.
I poke around on the map and look up nearby grocery stores and cafes. If there’s only a Dollar Store for groceries I keep looking. I hope they have a diner that I can frequent or better still a classic old Westerny steak house that isn’t trying to be anything but an old timey steak house. A 16oz ribeye with baked potato with toppings kinda place. Nothing against truffled things and $287/lb tech bro “kobe” beef places but yea. Go away.
Of course I read reviews and look at the menus *( if you don’t know me I was a chef owner of a The Supper Club and Billy Goat’s Cantina in the Atlanta area for a decade before I went full time into organic farming and now lead a luxurious life stranded in the desert after a car crash making the best of it by pulling ticks off of dogs that people toss on the street and starve in Mexico. I’m on the Roll Down Career Trajectory) and I imagine if it’s the kind of cafe where I could go and get a sandwich. A seat at a counter with a pie and coffee. I haven’t been out to eat in over 3 years. The town where I got dropped off is long on needy dogs and short on services and food.
So I fantasize a lot.
I see what the majority of local people have said about a small place. If it seems like a good stand alone business that is much loved in a town, I feel the struggle in my bones. It is hard at the best of times to run a restaurant, I empathize with folks who still show up and do their best when the cost of goods has got to be out of control. They toil so your quality of life doesn’t hit rock bottom. I lived in a rural town for 14 years. It’s bleak when the biggest thing in a decade is a Sonic opening in front of the Walmart. We must preserve these independents!
Doing their best to still serve real ground beef in their burgers and not soy and crickets. Maybe they still make lemonade or have a milkshake that is “old fashioned” that isn’t $29 or oh boy an egg cream! I drove around a lot looking for housing in 2019 after selling my farm in North Georgia and I will pull off any highway for a diner, a Reuben sandwich, regional things like Boudin in Louisiana or venison sausages in Arkansas. A bowl of soup and hope there’s a packet of Captains Wafers on the saucer.
I’ve always loved going out to eat and out of all the things I wish we had in this dust bowl pueblo is a restaurant or two or a Mercado (market) with stacks of chilis or seeds or chicken feet or spices or handmade tortillas. Mostly there are hot dog sellers here. And not with regular hours. It’s just gross. And yes, before you ask, I’ve been working daily for 1004 days to get out of here and relocate with all the doggos. Sounds easy. Is not. Read more about it here.
So when I read a one star review from someone after the bulk of reviews have been positive I zoom in. Disgruntled employee? Crazed maniac? 80s food critic escaped from his cell? Most of the time, it’s some unfounded drivel from someone who shouldn’t even own a computer or know how to make a review. A recent post from some Woo Bagger named “Colby” in a little town in Missouri reads:
“I normally don’t find myself to be one to write down a review but the truth must be told. I have eaten in this establishment recently and must report that I ordered french fries and they were out. I ordered onion rings instead and they were cold. Also the patty on the hamburger was not very thick and didn’t appear to be of a high quality and the sliver of onions was a sad excuse for a topping………it’s sad when McDs has better food than a restaurant…”
I’ll leave it there. Colby, you are a moron and gave these folks ONE STAR review and ruined their streak of high marks from nearly 387 happy customers.
Similar reviews in West Virginia, clearly written by a toddler with an iPad (no chocolate milk, ONE STAR at the Shaffer Diner) Kansas Dew Drop Inn (hostess was rude, chicken dry ONE STAR) I rev up my laptop.
FIVE STARS and a quick blurb about something that looks fun on the menu and say I can’t wait to come back the next time I’m in Missouri, West Virginia, Kansas. I note their abundant parking if they have it, list some history about the place (Bob and Sue have been here since 1974) and note that it’s cash only and friendly. I get on my soapbox about how we MUST SUPPORT THESE LOCAL SMALL BUSINESSES BEFORE WE DON’T HAVE A CHOICE.
And as someone who does not have a choice, at the moment, I implore everyone to go out and grab some dinner or get some pie at a small town joint this week. And write a good review. Who cares? Do you know how many bots and “social media” AI kids are getting paid to write fake reviews that aren’t even fun or real? Spread some love.
It’s easy to feel hopeless these days when being faced with HUGE world issues that we can barely understand the Deep State labyrinth of. Or even our own navel gazing existential crises, give it a rest. I’m happy to hit pause on the endlessly lame, boring dread of geriatric men in politics arguing about things they will not fix while they line their pockets with another war. Shut up.
I’m a fixer and it’s frustrating to spin my wheels and not feel like I can fix anything, or save all the dogs, or get us out of here or even paint my living room. So, I sit in desert Mexico and write nice reviews for restaurants that I hold in my imagination. I had a tuna salad on rye melt with coleslaw and crinkle fries. I added extra pickles. A pink lemonade was sparkling with a splash of Sprite on top and a cherry pie to go from a nice waitress and I parked right out front. Easy access off of Highway 223.
I got a response from one owner today and they are looking forward to seeing me again and thanked me for supporting small businesses and taking the time to write a review. I smiled and imagined someone getting a little jolt of energy to tackle a Monday morning inventory.
I look forward to seeing you guys too. Soon, I hope.
Thanks for reading and subscribing-for more info on the dogs and me go to linktr.ee/lolasdogrescue